Screen Time

Tori and Andy were excited to have Mary, their six-year-old niece, come stay with them for a few days. Their children hadn't seen Mary in months and couldn't wait to play with her. However, after only being there for a few minutes, Mary pulled out her tablet and started playing games.

She wasn't interested in spending time with her cousins, unless they were willing to watch her play on her tablet. When it was time for lunch, Mary was too busy playing to eat anything. She finally put the tablet down briefly to eat dinner. But, as soon as she finished eating a few bites, she went back to playing games.

Tori realized that this wasn't healthy for Mary to be spending so much time playing on her tablet. So, the next day she told Mary that they would be going to the park that day - without the tablets. Mary burst into tears and refused to go at first. Eventually, she reluctantly agreed to go if she could get an icecream cone on the way home.

"It was as if she was experiencing withdrawl symptoms," Tori told me later. "Mary didn't know what to do with herself. All she could talk about was how bored she was or ask when she could play games again. It was really heartbreaking to watch."

This scenario is becoming all too common today. Kids are so used to playing video games or texting their friends that they don't know what to do with themselves when their devices are taken away. This is more than just an irritation parents are dealing with. Excessive screen time can have serious consequences on a person's mental and physical health.

A recent study in BMC Public Health by Dy (2023) et al., found that children who use screens excessively are at risk for "developmental delays, attention problems, and poorer academic performance" (p. 1). Add to that obesity, disrupted sleep patterns, poor mental health, and lack of social skills. 

Even babies are impacted by screens. Dy (2013) et al., found that babies learn best by interacting with others in real life, not by watching screens. Parents who are too involved with their screens may miss out on important interactions with a child who may be struggling to get the parent's attention. This negatively impacts the child's development. 

On the other hand, parents who connect with their kids regularly are able to observe changes in the child's behavior that may signal an underlying issue. 

Why is too much time on devices harmful to us?

Have you ever gotten on social media and scrolled through posts, feeling worse and worse about your life? We see images of people taking exotic vacations and living in picture-perfect homes. Their children are always cheerful and well-dressed.

This isn't good for us.

According to a November 14, 2017 NPR article by Patti Neighmond entitled, Increased Hours Online Correlate With an Uptick in Teen Depression, Suicidal Thoughts, excessive screen time is taking a toll on mental health. Especially among teenage girls.

Nieghmond quotes a study done by San Diego University psychologist, Jean Twenge, that states more than three hours of screen time a day can lead to depression that may lead to suicide ideation. Girls are particularly vulnerable since they use their phones to connect on social media. They fall into the comparrison trap and feel hopelessly inadequte.

On the other hand, Twenge's research showed that face-to-face interactions helped protect youth against suicidal thoughts.  She says that studies show that less screen time helps people feel less lonely. This shows that there's no digital substitute for human interactions.

Kids aren't the only ones who overdo it with too much screen time.

How often have you seen a parent at a park glued to their phone, while the child shouts, "Mom, watch me go down this slide!"?

Dr. Tim Rarick poses some penetrating questions to parents in a March 16, 2016 blog entitled, Do You Need to De-vice Your Parenting? 

How often do you "phone-medicate" when dealing with difficult emotions?

Do you monitor how much time you spend on screens?

Do you enjoy what's online more than you enjoy being with your loved ones?

Have you noticed that the more you use your phone, the worse your parenting skills become?

Rarick made a sobering observation: "We are wired to connect. But we are disconnecting wirelessly." (para. 14).

He encourages parents to become more intentional in their parenting and scrutinize how much time they spend on their phones. 

Parents need to set boundaries to protect quality time with loved ones. An example of this is putting phones in a basket during meal time so that there are no interruptions. 

Avoid relying on screens to help you cope. Many people have found that meditation is an excellent way to deal with difficult emotions. Talking face-to-face with others who are willing to listen and offer support is also beneficial.

Rarick points out that disconnecting from devices can help us be more of a support to our children and more in tune with their needs.

This may take some practice to learn how to put down the screens and focus on what's right in front of you. Rarick encourages parents to be patient with themselves. Changes take time. But our efforts to be more present with others are well worth it.

Bibliography

Dy, A. B. C., Dy, A. B. C., & Santos, S. K. (2023). Measuring effects of screen time on the development     of children in the Philippines: a cross-sectional study. BMC Public Health                      https://doi.org/10.1186/s12889-023-16188-4

Neighmond, P. (2017, November 14). Increased hours online correlate with uptick in teen depression,        suicidal thoughts. NPR. https://www.npr.org/sections/health-shots/2017/11/14/563767149/increased-    hours-online-correlate-with-an-uptick-in-teen-depression-suicidal-thou

Rarick, T., (2016, March 29). Do you need to de-vice your parenting? Here are 5 ways to get                 started. Family Good Things. https://www.familygoodthings.com/do-you-need-to-de-vice-your-            parenting-here-are-5-ways-to-get-started-2/